


Risqué Business

by OtterlyDeerlightful



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Attempted Seduction, Demons, M/M, Magic, Mild Language, Succubi & Incubi, tags added as needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2019-07-28 17:58:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16246868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OtterlyDeerlightful/pseuds/OtterlyDeerlightful
Summary: Robbie's magic is running terribly low, a dangerous situation for a dark creature like himself to be in. He has to find an innocent soul to corrupt and fast...and the smiling man dressed in blue looks like the perfect target. Too bad the guy's the most oblivious human being on the planet.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a Halloween fic but I KNOW I won't get it finished on time so...starting out with that disclaimer right off the bat.  
> The subject matter probably sounds terrible, I admit, but it was inspired from an ADORABLE drawing of a little Halloweeny incubus!Robbie and a rough story idea popped into my head immediately. We'll see how much padding this thing creates in itself, like all my stuff seems to do XD  
> This was originally supposed to be a short cute little fluff piece, but we'll see how long it goes...

It had been a lovely day so far, topped off with a wonderfully peaceful mid-afternoon nap in his favorite chair in his favorite room. Things had been simply perfect. Which made being rudely awaken by being toppled out of said chair and falling to the cold stone floor of the castle all the more terrible. Robbie let out a yelp as he landed painfully on his tail; he twisted quickly to alleviate the pain only to smash one of his horns into the cold slab beneath him instead. His ears started ringing as the impact reverberated through his poor skull.

“ _Ow_! Jeez—what the hell was that?” he whined angrily as his vision began to clear.

Glanni prodded his little brother with the toe of his boot. “Wakey wakey, sunshine.”

Robbie bared a pair of small fangs and hissed in annoyance before struggling to his feet. The creature extended his arms over his head as he stretched, his back popping and wings spreading out behind him. Glanni let out an exhausted huff and draped himself over the back of his brother’s obnoxiously orange shag-covered chair.

“That was uncalled for!” Robbie snapped angrily as he spun around to face his stupid sibling. “What do you _want_?”

Glanni shrugged. “Dunno. You looked peaceful.”

The being clenched his pale violet fists at his side, spade-tipped tail lashing in annoyance behind him. His lip curled slightly and his nose twitched impatiently as he stared down his bored-looking brother and waited for a better explanation. None came. If anything, Glanni looked more satisfied with the situation the longer the moment lingered.

“You’re a jerk,” Robbie finally grumbled.

“Comes with the territory, sweetheart,” Glanni purred in return. “Nice insult, too, very creative.”

Robbie grumbled under his breath, but Glanni didn’t seem to notice.

“What has you so exhausted, anyway?”

“Dealing with _you_!” Robbie snapped as he swatted the other demon away from his beloved piece of furniture and promptly sat back down. “Why’re you here?”

Glanni shrugged as he crossed the room, his heels clicking on the floor and echoing off of the surrounding stone walls. Robbie grit his teeth as he watched the other creature pick up an old gadget of his from a table and roll it about between his hands.

“Can’t I miss my baby brother?” the demon asked while letting his exceptionally long tail curl lazily behind him.

“Not usually,” Robbie grumbled.

Glanni tossed him a dirty look over his shoulder. “Well, believe it or not, I missed your stupid face.” He set the first item down to run his claws along the ridges of another. “Haven’t heard much from you lately. Been busy?”

Not in the slightest. If Robbie were being honest, he had barely stepped outside in weeks. Not that he was missing anything. Their realm really wasn’t much to look at anyway, nor were many of its inhabitants the sort you would like to meet walking down the street. Not that there were streets either, at least not in the formal sense. Aside from the castle fortresses of the most powerful families, the entire place was little more than a hostile dump.

“Am I ever?” Robbie asked, folding his arms across his chest and crossing his legs. His tail thumped lazily against the softness of the chair.

Glanni pulled his attention away from Robbie’s numerous baubles and gave his brother a long look. “When was the last time you _went out_ , Sweet Cheeks?” he asked slowly.

Robbie shrugged. It was an honest answer; he really had no idea. Robbie thought about it for a moment. He hadn’t gone looking for souls in…a long time. Oh no. The creature’s wings clung tightly to his back as he realized what was coming.

“Robbie, get your ass out of that chair,” Glanni sighed in exasperation. “You need to go hunting for souls _now_.”

“Why?” he pouted. He already knew the answer, of course, but any way to make his brother’s life even a bit more annoying or miserable was a decent enough avenue for him to take.

Glanni huffed. “Do you _want_ to whither away to nothing?” he asked sharply. “How’s your magic doing?”

He looked away. Okay, so…maybe his magic stores weren’t the best right now. He had tried to teleport some food the other day from the mortals’ realm, being too lazy to go dig some out himself, and he had only managed to pull a pile of mush through his sad excuse of a portal. At least it’d still _tasted_ like cake, but it had still been rather lackluster. It should have been a simple spell, and was one he’d used since he was a child, but Robbie had to admit that, not only had he not gotten the results he’d wanted, but it had taken a bit out of him to do it at all.

“That’s what I thought,” Glanni sighed. “Robbie, I’m all for being a lazy motherfucker and taking the easy route whenever possible, but this is ridiculous! You need to get out there and hunt! Steal some girl’s virginity, corrupt a kitten! Just do something and replenish your stores, would you?”

“Corrupting innocents is _hard_!” he complained.

“It’ll only get harder when you’re so weak you’re fading away to nothing!” Glanni shot back. The creature stomped over to him and grabbed Robbie by the arm to yank him to his feet. “You’re coming with me.”

There was a flash, white then black in rapid succession, and Robbie felt his head begin to spin. The familiar darkness gave way to a blinding light and Robbie had to squint from the intensity. A gentle breeze ruffled his hair and tickled his bare stomach. That was a sensation he hadn’t felt in some time. Robbie blinked a few times, looking out over the peaceful field of disgustingly cheery flowers in which he and his brother now stood. He growled and pulled his arm free.

“I was _comfortable_!” he spat angrily.

“You were being a lazy son of a bitch, that’s what you were,” Glanni corrected, then pointed at the small town off in the distance. “You go find a soul, you take their energy, and you come home, you hear me?”

Robbie grumbled.

“You _hear me_?”                                                                                                                                                                                

“Yes!” he moaned. “Doesn’t mean I like it.”

“You don’t have to like it, you just have to do your job.”

Robbie rolled his eyes. Job, yeah. Whatever. Just because he needed to take mortals’ energies to survive didn’t mean he had to enjoy expending the effort to do it. There had to be an easier way.

“I assume you’re not gonna help at all?” Robbie asked with a scowl.

“You can put your big boy pants on yourself,” Glanni hissed. “This town is filled with little pansy shits that even _you_ should be able to take without much trouble. I’m literally keeping the training wheels on because, _apparently_ , you damn well need them.”

“Hey!”

“Prove me wrong, then!”

Glanni roughly shoved Robbie toward the town, making the other being stumble. Catching himself, Robbie spun around and glared at his older brother. His tail flicked wildly and his lavender wings flapped in gentle agitation.

“Screw off, Glanni! Take me home!”

“Come home yourself. _Once you have enough energy to do so_.”

The older demon disappeared into a thin wisp of black smoke, leaving Robbie standing alone amongst the grass. He spun around, searching the horizon for any sign of his stupid brother. Robbie growled and stamped his foot in frustration.

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that, asshole?” he shouted at the air. “ _Ugh_! What about my _chair_?” he demanded. “You’d better not get your stink all over it! Or rip anything! Or, gods help me, I’ll kill you!”

Almost immediately, Robbie’s pointed ears popped with a sudden change in pressure as a small vortex opened beside him for just a fraction of a second. A large orange blur fell from the temporary rip in space and landed with a thud beside him. Robbie yelped in simultaneous surprise and pain when the nearest leg of the chair came down on the tip of his tail. With a hiss, he pulled himself free and started suckling on the tip of the spade to try and alleviate the pain.

“Jerk!” Robbie yelled once more at the sky. “Stupid Glanni…”

He sighed and looked back at the sleepy little town down the road. Fine. He’d find someone quick, steal their energy, corrupt their stupid soul a little bit, and head home for a well deserved nap. Maybe he could bring some cake home with him straight from the source. That might make this stupid trip worth it. Maybe. With a sigh, Robbie turned back to his chair.

“Great. Now I have to drag you,” he grumbled.

Stupid Glanni.

Robbie grabbed hold of one of the arms and pulled. The chair inched across the ground, catching on grass and digging into the soil. This was going to take a while. But, he couldn’t just leave it here. Too bad he had no idea where he was taking it. Robbie grunted and tried again.


	2. Chapter 2

Robbie’s first priority had been to find somewhere safe to store his precious chair while he was stuck in this stupid realm. This second was to create a temporary base of operation around it so he could at least be somewhat comfortable during his ridiculous excursion. As luck would have it, because any bit of luck right now was welcome, Robbie was able to fulfill both at the same time when he came across what looked like an elaborate entrance to a sewer system.

“This is perfect!” he cried into the cavernous space. “Just like home…only without annoying idiots running all over!” Robbie laughed, hands on his hips.

Getting his chair down the long shute had been…an experience…but his efforts had been rewarded with a long nap afterward. The creature had awoken a few short hours later feeling slightly more rested.

“Okay,” he yawned, stretching and popping various body parts as he did so. “Guess the fun’s over.” His limbs sprawled over the arm rests as he spoke. “I suppose I should try to find some souls or something so I can get home.”

Or, maybe he could just go back to sleep. That was always an option, too. He was already comfortable, his new lair was nice and quiet, no pitter-patter of scurrying claws up and down the walls and ceilings day and night…the silence was divine. Yeah, maybe another nap _was_ in order. Robbie let out a toothy yawn and rolled over, curling into the back of his chair with one leg sticking over the an arm rest and his tail and wings dangling down to the floor behind him.

A high-pitched shriek abruptly cut through the room, reverberating off the walls and threatening to burst his ear drums. Robbie let out a cry of his own as his hands flew to cover his pointed ears from the instantaneous pain. He bolted upright, losing his balance with no backing behind him, and tumbled to the floor below. The auditory onslaught ceased. Slowly, still shaking, Robbie pried his palms away from his ears.

“What was _that_?” he squeaked as he looked around the enormously empty space around him.

Another scream echoed through the room, this one not nearly so loud. It was quickly followed by a chorus of giggles. Robbie swore he could hear voices mixed in with the ruckus.

“I didn’t _feel_ any spirits down here,” he muttered to himself as he got to his feet and brushed off the purple frills of his almost-too-revealing shorts.

A quick scan for auras—corporeal or otherwise—revealed nothing. And still, the occasional shouts and giggles continued. The squeaky little voices were beginning to get on his nerves. So much for a nap. Robbie plopped back down in his chair and growled up at the old pipes that hung overhead.

“Stupid metal, making everything echo like…”

The creature stared up at the pipes. Up. As in _above him_.

“Is all that racket coming from _the town_?” he asked no one in particular.

That couldn’t be right. Human beings couldn’t possibly be that loud, could they? The demon quickly weighed his options. He could go _into_ town to investigate, which meant climbing out his lair and walking all that way just to have to keep out of sight. _Or_ , he could stay in the comfort of his fluffy orange chair in his nice, safe sanctuary and use some of his remaining magic to spy on the noisy banshee wannabees instead. He was in the mortal realm now, after all; it shouldn’t be nearly as much of a stretch to conjure a viewing globe when he was so close to the source. Magic wins.

Robbie spun his hands, a swirling mist of violet and maroon seeping out from the tips of his manicured claws. The energy twisted, molding together into a sphere levitating inches above his open palms. The edges of the globe grew transparent before him, allowing Robbie to better peer inside at the shapes and colors coming together to form a picture.

“Alright, so what do we have here?” he mused to himself as he took stock of what he was seeing.

Ah, that explained it. Children. Robbie beheld a pack of human brats romping every which way through what appeared to be some sort of park. Though his viewing globe had no sound, the high-pitched giggles and shrieks bouncing off the walls around him matched up perfectly with the movement of the young ones’ lips. He had definitely found his culprits.

“They must be near some sort of sewer piping or something,” he grumbled to himself. “Traveling all the way down to lucky little me.”

Honestly, it sounded a bit far-fetched to him, but what other possibility was there? He twisted the globe this way and that, tilting his head to and fro to get a better look at the area. Might as well look for potential targets while he was expending himself.

Kids, no. Yuck. Robbie might be in the soul corruption business, but he at least had standards. No touching the children. Too bad there were _so many of them_. Leave it to Glanni to drop him off in a town made up mostly of kids and expect him to seduce someone. Glanni might be his _elder_ brother, but that didn’t make him the smarter one. Finding few potential targets as he searched the town streets, Robbie soon turned his attention back to the park where he had begun.

“I know it’s always slim pickings in small towns, but this is ridiculous,” he complained aloud. “I don’t have the energy to go after these people. I can’t corrupt someone who’s already circling the drain, I don’t have enough magic left to just go ethereal and harass people in their sleep! Where on earth am I supposed to find…oh…who is that?”

Robbie blinked rapidly before leaning in close to the floating orb. He beheld a man laughing and playing with the screechy brats. It was an odd sight, seeing a grown mortal playing right alongside such small things. Even stranger, he seemed to be legitimately enjoying himself as they kicked their strange little black-and-white ball back and forth across the grass. Weren’t adults supposed to sit behind desks all day, not run around like hooligans?

“Well, you’re a sight, aren’t you?” Robbie whispered aloud as he watched the stranger dash back and forth.

The mortal was handsome; that he noticed straight away. All muscles and smiles, the human weaved his way through the hoard of brats to play their silly game, his mop of curly blond hair bobbing right along with him. It looked soft. Very soft. Robbie instinctively wanted to make sure the image wasn’t lying to him, test the silky-looking softness himself. The man’s blue eyes sparkled as he laughed with the children and cheered them on. Robbie found it surprisingly difficult to look away…not that he wanted to.

“Come on, Sportacus! Kick it!” he faintly heard as the shrill voices of the children echoed down into his new lair.

“Sportacus...that can’t be a normal human name, right?” Robbie asked himself.

Maybe it was? He doubted he was very informed about the latest trends of human civilization, but if it _was_ a common name, it still sounded strange as far as he was concerned. Then again, who was he to judge? How many incubi out there had a name as plain as _Robbie_?

He hunkered down in his chair, his tail draped across his lap and his wings lazily stretched out to each side as he continued to watch the little show in his hands. This _Sportacus_ character looked like he might be a good candidate, actually. There was certainly a child-like innocence about him if they could engage in play like he did, and that was always made for the sweetest tasting souls to twist and drain. Or, so he’d heard…Robbie never had been one to stick around a particular target very long. Too much work to be that dedicated. No wonder he was in his current predicament.

“Oh no!” he cried, sitting upright when he realized that, one by one, the children were starting to leave the playing field. “Where are they going? If there’re not there, then Sportaflipflop will—” He watched the man go to retrieve what must have been his ball from the other end of the field. “I have to catch him!”

Robbie sprang into action, tossing the viewing globe into the air to let it disintegrate into glittery particles as he hurried toward the ladder. So much for conserving energy, he realized as he scrambled his way to the surface and started toward the town below as quickly as possible. He’d used up magic to conjure that stupid viewing globe so he that wouldn’t have to disguise himself topside. And here he was, heading straight into town, needing to use up even _more_ magic for that exact purpose anyway. He certainly was the king of poor life choices, wasn’t he? Maybe Glanni had been right about that all these years.

With a wave of his hand, Robbie’s pale violet skin flushed what little otherworldly color it had. His horns, wings, and tail vanished entirely while his ears, fangs and claws shortened into more human equivalents.  It felt unnatural and Robbie didn’t much care for the absent nakedness that sent a shiver down his spine. Well, it was only for a little while, anyway. This should be a quick and easy job now that he’d found a good target.

Speaking of which…

“—I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe, okay?”

Robbie halted abruptly when the blue-clad sports man came into view. He was holding that black-and-white ball under one arm now, and waving to the last of the children as they hurried off to wherever it was that human brats ran off to in the evening. Robbie was panting where he stood, not used to exerting himself like he was. Taking a moment to compose himself—and catch his breath—Robbie started toward the man who was readying to leave. Show time.

“ _Hey, there_ ,” Robbie greeted in a low, drawn-out voice.

The human turned around, blinking in surprise at the sight of Robbie walking toward him with lidded eyes and his famously seductive smile. He swayed his hips as he walked and he could _see_ Sportasmitten’s eyes drift down his frame to take in every available sight. He had him. Robbie leaned against a nearby picnic table and arched his back, putting his bare midriff on full display for his powerless victim. Sportacus’ eyes snapped up to Robbie’s. The demon fluttered his lashes.

“Hello!” the man greeted cheerfully.

“Nice to meet you,” Robbie purred. “Sorry to impose, but…I saw you standing there and I just _had_ to come over and introduce myself.”

The native  seemed pleased to hear that, a bright smile spreading across his face before he finished packing some things into a dark blue duffle bag and picked it up. He closed the few feet between them and the demon could practically feel his magic crackling below the surface in anticipation.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” the human said and held out a hand. “My name’s Alex.”

Robbie stared at the hand hanging in the air before him. The man wanted him to…shake hands? The creature slowly offered his own hand in return. The man—Alex, apparently—took it with fervor, nearly crushing Robbie’s hand as he shook it in greeting. The demon squeaked at the human’s brute force, his seductive stance dissolving into a hunched ball. Robbie pulled his aching hand back to his chest the moment Alex released it, and the creature glared at the mortal.

“Are you new in town?” the human asked, oblivious to Robbie’s suffering.

“Er…yes,” the creature replied, his previous attempts at seduction temporarily forgotten. He scrambled to come up with something believable to say to fill the air between them. “Just moved in.”

“That’s wonderful!” Alex said cheerfully. “It’s always nice to see new faces in town.”

Robbie stared at him, unsure how to respond. This encounter was not going as he had originally imagined. Sportacus—or, Alex—was treating him just like any other human, and Robbie just…didn’t know what to do with that information. The man had _looked him up and down_. Robbie had given the perfect opening, everything had been in place for a make-out session that should already be in progress. And yet, here Alex was, standing there and smiling like an idiot like he was talking to some stupid neighbor over a suburban hedge.

“Oh,” Alex chuckled with a shake of his head. “I’m so sorry—I didn’t get your name.”

“Er…Robbie.”

Why lie? Blending in with humans when necessary was probably the only perk to having such a dull name, and juggling too many lies would only set him up for failure anyway should there need to be any actual amount of conversation.

“Well, it’s wonderful to meet you, Robbie.” The man nodded over his shoulder. “I was just on my way to the gym. Would you like to walk with me?”

Ah, yes, finally. Robbie perked back up immediately not that the mortal seemed to be showing some sort of interest. His seductive smile returned and he leaned forward, licking his lips.

“I would be my _pleasure_ ,” he answered.

“Great!” Alex readjusted the duffle bag strap on his shoulder. “Come on, this way!” The man turned around to lead the way.

Wait. Wait…where was he going? Robbie jumped to his feet after realizing that Alex wasn’t being cheeky; he was really _leaving_! Why was he leaving? Why wasn’t he throwing himself at Robbie instead? He—how—what was happening?

“Wh-where are we going?” Robbie heard himself ask as he hurried to close the distance between himself and his target.

“The gym!”

“R-right.” What was _the gym_?

“So,” Alex said as they walked along. “I might as well give you a tour on the way, since you’re new in town! When did you move in?”

Robbie blinked. “J-just today,” he answered honestly.

“In that case,” Alex laughed, pointing at a nearby building. “That’s the grocery store. You would be surprised at the selection of produce they have there for such a small town! It’s wonderful. That over there is Zweets Zurprise Bakery. They own the ice cream parlor next door, too, but that won’t open until the weather starts to warm up again.”

Robbie walked next to his victim, edging closer and closer until their arms brushed.  Alex glanced up at him in surprise. Robbie just smiled, letting his fingertips brush against the man’s forearm.

“I _do_ love a _zweet_ zurprise,” Robbie teased playfully. “What about you, Alex?”

“I’m not very big on baked goods, actually,” the man said with a shrug. “I guess I don’t really have the pallet for it. But I do enjoy the occasional frozen yogurt when their ice cream parlor is open. It’s always nice to have…” Alex gave a small frown. “Are you okay, Robbie?”

“I—what?”

Robbie blinked. Was this human deliberately ignoring his advances, or was he just being obtuse? How much more obvious could he be without jumping on the mortal right here and now?

“Are you cold?”

“Am I cold?” Robbie echoed.

He was about to deny it, annoyed with the tangent their conversation had followed, but a brisk wind swirled around them as they stood, and Robbie felt himself shiver. This realm certainly _was_ a bit cooler than what he was used to, particularly with how little he was wearing.

“Uh…a little,” the creature admitted against his better judgement. “Why?”

Alex’s brows knit together and he set his bag down so he could more easily unzip the blue jacket he wore. Robbie watched in fascination. Did the human _like_ cold weather? Maybe taking Alex right here in the middle of the street was an option after all! And here he had been so worried that this would be anything but easy! Robbie licked his lips and reached out toward the man’s broad chest.

“Here!”

Robbie paused, fingers mid-wiggle as Alex held out the jacket for him to take. Robbie looked between the article of clothing and its bearer, confused.

“I’m sorry I didn’t offer it sooner. You look chilled, Robbie. It may be nice during the day, but nights have been pretty cold lately. You should probably try to wear something a little warmer until the weather changes. Until then, you can borrow my jacket. It’s better than nothing.”

“I…uh…thank you?” Robbie ventured as he carefully took the bit of clothing.

He stared at it, as if unsure what the item was for, before timidly pulling it around his shoulders and sliding his bare arms through the sleeves. Robbie had to admit, the temperature difference was almost instantaneous, and he felt his shoulders relax at the added warm Alex’s jacket provided.

“It’s no problem, Robbie.”

The pair started walking again, Alex pointing out a few more buildings along the way. Robbie barely heard what the mortal was saying; he was too preoccupied with brushing his fingers over the pull of the jacket zipper against his chest. Humans were simple, almost laughably so. At least, they were supposed to be. So why did he feel so confused with this Alex’s reactions to…everything? He didn’t make sense. The man just didn’t act like how normal humans were supposed to behave, especially around his kind.

“Robbie?”

He snapped his head up. “Wh-what?”

“That’s the gym,” Alex said, gesturing to the large building just up ahead. “So I guess this is where we part ways for the night.”

The creature frowned. “No! I mean…uh…” Robbie had to come up with an excuse to keep the man here, find a way to properly seduce him, steal his energy, _something_.

“It’s okay, Robbie. You can hold onto the jacket for now. I wouldn’t want you to get cold walking home.” Alex let out a bubbly laugh. “It just means we’ll have to meet each other again so you can give it back, right?”

Ah. So maybe the human _was_ interested, then. Robbie nodded and flashed his award-winning smile to entice the man to keep that promise.

“I guess it does.”

Alex nodded happily before looking up at the window the storefront beside them. Robbie’s eyes followed his gaze to behold a striped suit displayed on a blank-faced mannequin. His eyes widened slightly at the beautiful presentation in the window.

“It looks like the Splitz have outdone themselves again!” Alex remarked. “They’re always updating their displays with their latest creations. I guess this is their newest one! Isn’t it great?”

Robbie found himself nodding as he looked the perfect maroon-and-purple outfit over. “Yes.”

“Well—” Alex held out his hand. “—It’s been wonderful meeting you, Robbie. I hope we run into each other again soon.”

Robbie nodded, hesitantly offering his hand again. Thankfully, the human’s crushing grip wasn’t nearly as painful this time around. The pair parted, Alex heading toward the gym with his bag and Robbie standing awkwardly outside the clothing store.

“Welcome to LazyTown! See you around, Robbie!” Alex called back before disappearing inside.

“Y-yeah,” the demon muttered to no one as he pulled Alex’s jacket closer. He glanced back up at the suit in the window, then down at himself. “Maybe…I’m approaching this the wrong way,” he mused. “Maybe I just need to…appeal to what the hand-crusher likes.”

Robbie grinned. He stooped down, gathering up a handful of leaves from the street gutter. By the time he had turned to head inside the store, they looked more like a healthy wad of money. Alex had seemed to like the suit in the display enough, and it certainly matched Robbie’s favorite color scheme. Maybe there was hope for his quest after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did I think writing a fic with a lot of flirting and stuff was a good idea? I don't even know how to flirt in real life. Oh crap...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES! My unfinished works are rising from the grave like the zombies that they are!!
> 
> Chapter 4 is already done and I'm working on Chapter 5. If you wanna find out how to see stuff a little earlier and keep up to date on what's going on, visit me on Tumblr and/or Twitter for news and info...

Alright, maybe the human had been on to something.

Robbie turned slightly, trying to get a better look at the back of his vest in the reflective surface of a broken mirror shard. The cracks and pops that coincided with the movement went ignored. He had to admit that the human Alex’s tastes were rather flattering on him. The creature dared say that the purple and maroon stripes were distinctly _him_. He adjusted the white cuffs slightly, continuing to groom himself and admire his new outfit.

“Well,” he mused as he looked down at his new spats and shining shoes, “This will certainly make things easier, at least. Won’t have to use so much magic to keep up appearances. And I’m feeling warmer already!”

Robbie grinned at his reflection, ignoring the pale mist that escaped his lips when he let out a proud huff of breath. Okay, so maybe he was still a little bit cold, but he _did_ feel much better now that his limbs and midriff were covered with, well, anything at all. And—bonus!—his mortal victim was the one who had directed him to the outfit in the first place. His domination of the human Alex was a sure thing now that he was catering to the man’s tastes. It was the perfect plan.

Robbie glanced over his shoulder with a bit of a scowl. “Bit cramped for a tail and wings, though,” he mumbled. He snapped his fingers and a small hole appeared in the fabric at the base of his spine; a pair of slits materialized under his shortened vest. His beautiful tail popped back into view behind him just as he gave a small stretch of his petite wings. “There, perfect. A little magic to alter two square inches of fabric shouldn’t break the bank.”

He held the shard as far back as possible to gaze more easily into his makeshift mirror. His tail curled behind him as he admired himself anew. Yes, he _did_ look perfect. The clothes looked nice, too. The outfit, after some minor tailoring, fit like a glove. The stripes complimented his skin tone wonderfully, and the spats and cuffs matched his horns. Once this entire fiasco was finished, maybe he should go back and grab a few more garments from that little shop before he headed back home. Glanni would be jealous as hell.

“Well,” he said with a sigh, setting his mirror shard aside as he folded his small wings neatly under his vest and back out of sight. “I guess I should get back on the job. As stupid as this whole thing is.”

With one last forlorn look to his comfortable orange chair, Robbie grabbed Alex’s blue jacket still hanging from it and headed topside to go hunt down his overly happy, far-too-innocent-to-really-be-human target.

Good grief he had forgotten how far of a walk it was to get to town from his new base of operation. He would have to figure something out to make this trek more bearable. Maybe a series of tunnels or some sort of chute from the lair into town to make sure the journey wasn’t so terrible. That could work.

“ _Ugh_ , why am I thinking like that? It’s not like I’m going to be here long enough to put any of that together! That’s an awful lot of work anyway. I mean, I could do it if I _wanted_ to…I just don’t want to! I have to use my time wisely anyway because—! Because…” Robbie swallowed, a rather morbid thought suddenly occurring to him. “Well, I guess…whether I blow it with Alex or not I won’t be around here long enough to build anything an-anyway. Good thought, though.”

He shivered, not entirely sure if it was the acknowledgement of the stark reality of his situation and the fatal consequences if he should fail in his should-be-easier-than-it-had-been-so-far seduction. Maybe it was just a chill in the air that cut through his new clothes a little too easily. Robbie kept walking even as the severity of the situation was starting to weigh on him. He didn’t have the option of screwing this up. His life literally depended on it, not with the scant bit of magic he had left to use now.

Even so, there really wasn’t any choice _but_ to use it. At least, _some_ of it. Just a little…save his reserves as best he could while he worked. Robbie sighed and felt the ripple of his disguise stretch over the exposed portions of his anatomy as he began down the street of the town.

“I need to find Alex,” he muttered nervously to himself.

A viewing globe would be a pointless waste of magic given his proximity to his target, but Robbie was tempted to conjure one nonetheless just to find the human faster. The streets weren’t exactly abandoned, per say, but they were still sparse. And there was no sign of a bouncing blue human man anywhere to be seen. Even the children seemed to be gone. Had he missed something?

“Hi, Robbie!”

The creature let out a startled yelp and jumped, arms flailing in instinctual self-defense at the sudden shout. He spun around to see a flash of blue and beautiful, golden yellow a few short feet away from him. He blinked a few times before he managed to recognize the concerned face staring at him.

“Robbie, are you okay?” Alex asked worriedly, his hands partially outstretched in case the other man needed some sort of assistance.

“Don’t _scare_ me like that!” he shouted, stamping his foot.

The very moment his outburst was spent, Robbie regretted it. No! You can’t just yell at the mortal you were trying to seduce and corrupt and expect them to still be receptive! Damnit, Robbie, get it together, your life is counting on this!

“I’m sorry, Robbie,” Alex said slowly. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I was just passing by and thought I would say hello.”

“Yes, well, uh, I…”

Robbie finally gave the human a glance over, blinking in surprise as he realized the state of the man. Despite the cool air, Alex’s tee shirt and sweat pants looked soaked through in places, clinging tightly to the defined muscles underneath. His normally beautiful golden locks were plastered to his forehead in places, and his cheeks looked surprisingly flushed for some reason. Robbie felt oddly warm all of a sudden. Must be his proximity to the human furnace standing before him. That was it.

“You just, uh…scared me a bit, that’s all,” the demon giggled teasingly, slipping right back into character. “Gave me a bit of a rush, there.” He batted his eyes playfully.

A friendly smile returned to the human’s face as Robbie spoke. The stupid mustache on his upper lip seemed to twitch skyward, as if its interest had been piqued.

“I’ll try not to scare you next time,” Alex laughed. “Y-You look great, by the way! Much warmer, I mean. Is that the outfit from the Splitz’ shop?”

Robbie beamed at the praise, puffing out his chest and tugging lightly on the edge of his vest to better show off his new coverings. Yes, his plan was working perfectly.

“It is indeed,” he said with a waggle of his eyebrows. “I suppose your gaze simply _inspired_ me to make the purchase. _Do you like it_?”

Alex nodded. “It suits you,” he agreed before unceremoniously dragging his wrist across his forehead to rid it of the perspiration that had accumulated there. “I was surprised to see you when I came around the corner. I usually don’t see too many people on my runs. Are you an early riser, Robbie?”

“Early riser?” the creature echoed, his nose scrunching in confusion as he suddenly realized how dark the sky was compared to the last time he and the human had met. “Oh, uh…”

Really, he wasn’t an early riser at all; he could be awake _or_ asleep at any and all hours depending on his mood and energy level. Besides, it was difficult to keep track of time with how gloomy the atmosphere of his realm was at any given time, so why bother keeping a schedule? But he couldn’t just tell the obvious early-bird that he wasn’t a morning person, not if he wanted to conquer Alex as soon as possible so he could go home. Time to play his role.

“Y-yeah!” Robbie forced his best smile for the man. “I’m…always up at the ass-crack of dawn! I…I love it.”

Alex laughed for reasons Robbie didn’t quite understand. “Maybe we’ll get to see more of each other, then.”

“ _That_ ,” Robbie purred, leaning in ever so slightly, “Would be lovely.”

Instead of locking passionate eyes, Robbie was surprised to see Alex’s gaze flicker downward, instead. _Well_ , he thought. _That works, too_. He opened his mouth to suggest that they find somewhere a little more private, but was cut off when the human instead asked Robbie a question of his own.

“Oh…is that mine?”

The creature blinked, following the man’s gaze to look down at the blue jacket still draped over his left arm. Oh, yes…Alex’s jacket. He had completely forgotten about that…but it could be the perfect segway to some casual, steamy energy theft if he played his cards right. The human already seemed interested, after all, and was no doubt already riled up from that run of his. The timing was perfect.

“Ah, yes,” Robbie smoothly cooed as he left his fingertips brush over the stitching atop his arm. “I wanted to return it and thank you again for your… _generous hospitality_ yesterday. As you said—” At that, Robbie gave the man a flirtatious smile. “—it is an excellent excuse to see you again.”

Though it may have just been from all the physical exertion, Robbie swore that Alex blushed a bit at his words. It was a good sign. The creature shouldn’t have any problem finishing the job now. Yesterday was just a fluke; Robbie had the human Alex in his clutches now. The demon leaned in carefully, moistening his lips in anticipation.

The athlete smiled and glanced down at his watch. “Actually…have you had breakfast yet, Robbie?”

“Wh-what?”

Robbie blinked, his mind screeching to a halt as he was caught off-guard once again.

“Have you had breakfast?” Alex repeated.

Considering Robbie hadn’t even known it was morning in the first place, it was safe to say that he hadn’t. Not that human food had any real _nutritional_ value for a creature such as himself. But, it did seem like a nice opportunity to start off the day…a quick, tasty snack before he and Alex attended to the main course. The incubus’ mouth was practically watering already at the prospect of having both food and Alex’s beautifully pure essence wrapped together in one, big, satisfying meal. He shook his head, recovering quickly from his reverie so he could respond to the man’s question.

“No,” Robbie answered truthfully, readopting his most seductive tone as his free hand rested on the back of his hips so that his back would arch just so. “Did you happen to have any _plans_ per chance?”

Alex nodded and pointed down the street. “The café should be open by now. Would you like to get a cup of coffee?”

The creature batted his lashes at the man. “I would _love_ to.”

A gentle breeze came between them, bringing with it the distinct chill of early morning. Despite his improved coverings, Robbie still shivered.

“Oh, Robbie, you’re cold,” Alex noticed. “It might be a good idea if you kept my jacket for now. I’m still running a little hot anyway. You need it more than I do. I don’t want you to get sick.”

“But it’s—ah… _oh_!”

Robbie’s plan had been to sensually drape the garment around the man’s shoulders, ghosting his breath across Alex’s neck and letting his fingers lightly dance down the man’s arms to entice him. That, however, was simply not to be. Instead, the human reached for the jacket himself, gently pulling it from the demon’s grasp only to reach up and pull it around Robbie’s shoulders instead. He didn’t know what to do as Alex smiled up at him, pulling back just as suddenly as his initial action had been. Robbie stood before the man a dumbfounded slab, his arms dangling under the shield of the blue jacket now resting upon his shoulders like a mantle of confusion.

“Is that better?” the human asked.

Robbie stared down at the jacket in perplexed frustration as he tried to come up with an alternate plan of attack. Or…did he need to? Was this a normal, friendly human gesture, or something more? The creature had come to the mortal realm so rarely and interacted with its inhabitants so little over the years that he really wasn’t sure. What was he supposed to make of what had just happened?

“Robbie? Are you okay?”

He looked up. “oh, uh, yes! Yes, I…sorry.”

Without knowing what else to do, the creature finished what the human had started and pulled his arms through the dangling jacket sleeves. He pulled it more closely around himself, adjusting it for maximum comfortability as Alex stood and  watched.

It felt very strange knowing that he was wearing so many layers. Usually, Robbie had nearly all of his skin exposed at any given time. Hell, sometimes he wandered his small corner of the castle stark naked if the mood struck him. Robbie was fairly certain he had never worn so much at once in his entire life. At least his wings were thoroughly hidden now, if nothing else.

“Better?” Alex asked again with a bright smile and warm eyes.

Robbie gave a curt nod and offered the man a small smile of his own. He couldn’t seem to help it; the stupid human’s happy nature seemed to be at least a little infectious. Well, if he cared about whether Robbie was cold or not, maybe that meant he _was_ interested in him after all. He had to be, right? Robbie had known the new outfit would pay off…he just hadn’t expected things to go the way they were. No matter; the end goal was in sight, and it was only a matter of time before he could go home again, safe and sound.

“Very,” Robbie said with a wink, offering the man his arm. “Shall we?”

Alex looked from Robbie’s face to his arm and back again. The creature gave him a seductive smile, enticing him to take hold with a twitch of his lip and the slight raise of an eyebrow. Even so, the human hesitated and Robbie’s previous confidence began to waver. He kept his arm steady, hoping he wasn’t wrong in his presumptive hopes. After what felt like ages, Alex finally linked his arm with Robbie’s. The creature’s smile spread from cheek to cheek, and he could have sworn that Alex’s cheeks again looked a bit flushed. Perfect.

“Lead the way,” Robbie insisted.

Alex cleared his throat and started down the street, Robbie hanging happily on his arm. He would be heading back home in _no time_. He was sure of it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long one! forgot to post it...oops. It's been on my first posting platform for almost two weeks because oops...

The pair soon found themselves walking down the street that housed the café. Robbie inquired about what Alex had been running from so early in the morning, but soon found himself regretting the question when Alex seemingly wouldn’t _stop_ answering it. The man apparently felt the need to tell his companion about every detail of his morning routine. Something about a stretchy yogurt or something Robbie didn’t understand beyond the fact that Alex had downturned dogs or thrown them into the sun, maybe? The human’s descriptions really hadn’t made a lick of sense as far as Robbie was concerned. What followed that was a detailed explanation of the nutritional value of Alex’s pre-workout breakfast and then, just to top off the one-way conversation, Robbie got to learn about the various routes the human would take through the town while running from—apparently—nothing. Who just _ran_ for no reason? The conversation was…mind-numbingly uninteresting, but Robbie forced himself to look interested and give the occasional hum of acknowledgement throughout. He had to stay on this human’s good side, after all.

Thankfully, the pair finally managed to find the café. Just as Alex had said, the little place was open for business despite the early hour. Which, really, was slowly starting to become a _normal_ hour, but Robbie wasn’t really convinced of that yet. The human let go of Robbie’s arm, much to the demon’s momentary disappointment, and stepped forward to open the door. Alex gestured for Robbie to step inside, which the creature did with a grand, superior grin on his face. Oh yes, the unsuspecting human was most certainly becoming putty in his hands if he was opening doors for Robbie already.

The incubus strode up the counter, Alex following close behind. Robbie stared up at the board, unsure what in the world he was looking at.  The human behind the counter flashed a smile to Alex, but the longer he stood there, the more Robbie should feel their eyes shift to him instead. The demon couldn’t help the look of utter confusion plastered to his face as he tried to make sense of the menu. Latte? Espresso? What in all the realms _were_ these things? He was pretty sure the only words on the giant wall-board were _muffin_ and _cookie_ and even then he didn’t understand the descriptors that huddled around them.

“Do you know what you want, Robbie?”

The demon looked at Alex with an involuntarily frightened look on his face. “I, uh…just thinking it over,” he lied.

He cringed when the human tilted his head and gave Robbie a disbelieving look.

“What are you in the mood for?” Alex asked gently. “Coffee? Tea?”

Robbie knew those words…he just didn’t know exactly what they were beyond some sort of human drink. He must have looked as clueless as he felt because Alex took pity on him and offered an idea.

“How about we order something simple? One of each. If you don’t like yours, you can have mine. Sound good?”

“Uh…y-yeah, sure.”

Alex flashed his already familiar Alex Smile and turned back to the service human, rattling off some words that sprung the server into action. Robbie really didn’t understand much of what was said. It all still sounded like a foreign language. As the two spoke, though, the creature’s mind wandered elsewhere. Food and drink cost money, didn’t they? Robbie’s eyes widened as he realized he had forgotten to grab something to transmogrify and it was far too late to do so now in full view of Alex and the other human. He plunged his hands into the jacket pockets, hoping some money might have miraculously been left behind for him to use.

“Don’t worry.”

He looked up at the sound of Alex’s voice.

“It’s okay, Robbie. This is my treat. Think of it…as a housewarming present! For coming to LazyTown!” Alex laughed. “Besides, I don’t want you to have to pay for something if you’re not even sure if you’ll like it…so…don’t worry about it, okay?”

Robbie blinked in surprise at the gesture. Slowly, he took his hands out of his pockets and gave a small nod. Yes, that…would work. No one would have to know he had no money, he wouldn’t have to answer the inevitable questions as to why that was, and Robbie’s cover wouldn’t be blown. He smiled to himself as Alex pulled out his navy blue wallet to pay the other human. Robbie felt a warmth in his chest as he watched. The sensation was alien, yet…familiar, in a way. Relaxing. He shook his head to try to rid himself of it.

Alex handed over some paper currency and tucked the wallet away. Yes, let his prey feel like _they_ were the one in control of their relationship. Maybe that was the feeling spreading through his limbs…self-assurance. That had to be it. He allowed himself to grin at the solved mystery.

Robbie picked out a small table while Alex retrieved their drinks. One was set down before him. Robbie looked at the surprisingly intimidating cup as the human took their seat across from him.

“So,” Alex started, taking a sip from his own steaming drink. “Are you moving in okay?”

Robbie let his long fingers curl around the comfortingly warm beverage. “Er…yes. I didn’t have much to move in,” he answered truthfully. “Nothing I can’t handle on my own.”

“On your own? That sounds…difficult!”

Robbie privately reveled in the human’s astonishment. Let Alex marvel over his imaginary strength and prowess. Never mind the fact that all he’d done is drag a single chair across a field. And with great difficulty, at that. Alex didn’t need to know that part of the story.

“Like I said,” Robbie said with a mischievous wink. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

Alex shook his head, eyebrows briefly arching from how impressed he was with Robbie’s imaginary feat. Even if it was all smoke and mirrors, the being let himself bathe in the man’s attention for the time being.

Back to business, then.

Robbie eyed his drink suspiciously. He couldn’t quite discern the taste of the strange concoction from the smell wafting up with the steam emanating from his cup. He could feel the human’s expectant eyes on him across the table. Well, if drinking the strange thing would help him get in bed with Alex so he could get the hell out of this realm, then so be it. He took a sip.

Alex unsuccessfully stifled a snicker at seeing Robbie’s suddenly scrunched face. “Don’t like it?” he ventured.

Robbie set the cup down. His tongue flicked in and out of his mouth, as if he were a dog trying to get the last bit of peanut butter out of his mouth. “It’s bitter as hell!” he complained.

The man gestured to a small display of packets nearby on the table. “There are some sweeteners and creamer if you think that might help,” he suggested.

Robbie reached for the little packets immediately. He ripped open about four to start, dumping them all into his cup at once. Alex watched in dismay as Robbie reached for more, adding so much sugar to the drink that it looked about ready to overflow from the additions.

“Wh-why don’t you try it now?” the man suggested in a wavering voice. “B-before you add any…more.”

The creature looked up to catch the look of borderline horror in his companion’s eyes. Oh.

“Right, uh…”

Robbie stirred the contents of his cup and took another sip. The familiar bitter undertone remained, but it was thankfully dwarfed by a beautiful onslaught of sweetness that hit with a burn intense enough to squeeze the corners of his eyes for the briefest of seconds. It wasn’t cake by any stretch of the imagination, but it certainly wasn’t _bad_. At least, not anymore. Robbie found himself smiling as he took another sip.

“Much better,” he breathed contentedly as Alex looked on with a look of mild concern.

Both were quiet for a moment.

“So,” Alex continued after taking a hesitant sip of his tea, uh…what brings you to LazyTown, Robbie?

“Work,” he answered quickly. It wasn’t a lie, after all, not really.

“Oh.” Another brief pause. “What do you do?”

Shit. Robbie should have seen that follow-up coming, shouldn’t he? He couldn’t exactly say that he was an incubus looking to corrupt Alex and steal away his innocence along with his sexual and spiritual energy, now could he? What were the jobs that humans took for careers again? He quickly tried to form a mental list of work-related terms he had heard over the years. Something that sounded plausible, but something that he could remember if the topic were brought up again. Think, Robbie, _think_! Oh! Oh, perfect—

“I work in, uh, human resources.”

Also not a complete lie. Just a different interpretation of the phrase. Robbie felt himself smile mischievously at his own cleverness. “What about you?” he asked before Alex could come up with any elaborating questions.

“Oh, um, nothing too big,” the human replied with a timid shrug. “I just work part-time as a personal trainer at the gym. Sometimes I wish I could do it full-time, but I can’t work in the evenings, so—” He shrugged. “—part-time it is!”

Robbie leaned over his drink, his elbow on the table and his chin resting on his palm. He fluttered his eyelashes ever so slightly as he spoke. “And why, pray tell, can’t you work evenings? _Busy_ , are we?”

Alex nodded with a short laugh. “ _Very_!”

Perfect! Robbie finally had an _in_ —it looked like sweet little Alex might have some urges after all. That meant that he might not get as much energy out of their imminent copulation as he had originally hoped, but something was better than nothing, and if Alex routinely scheduled some _alone time_ for himself so often, that would make Robbie’s job much easier in that he wouldn’t have to shoulder all the work. Maybe he had picked the right human after all.

“The kids really run me ragged sometimes! It’s amazing how much energy they have!”

Wait, what?

Robbie blinked, unsure of where their conversation was going. For once, the creature truly hoped they weren’t actually talking about the subject he had thought they were talking about a moment ago. Robbie may be a demon, but even _he_ had lines that were not to be crossed. He sat back abruptly, sticking a finger in his ear and wiggling it about for a moment. He pulled it out, shook his head, and leaned in to make sure he was hearing this properly.

“ _Pardon_?”

“The kids. It’s like they store up their energy all day at school,” Alex chuckled. He took a sip of his tea and smiled to himself.

Robbie was still lost. And a bit worried.

“What do you do with them?” the creature slowly asked.

Alex shrugged. “It changes, depending on what they want to do. I try to focus on sports and things like that. They’re sitting in a classroom for most of the day, and I doubt their parents will want them still riled up when it’s time for bed in the evening, so…I try to give them an outlet inbetween.”

Robbie’s nose scrunched. “Wait…sports? Like…that thing you were doing yesterday with the ball?”

“Yeah! Ziggy wanted to show everyone his new soccer ball. They had a lot of fun.”

He pretended to know what the key words in that sentence actually meant.

“Sometimes I feel a little bad taking money for it,” Alex continued, “But I still need to make ends meet, you know? I put as much back into it as I can because hosting after-school programs can be expensive, but…I still wish I could do it for free.”

After school program.

“Oh thank heavens.”

Robbie never thought he would say such a thing, but here he was. Alex gave him a questioning look as the creature slumped back in his chair. Robbie cleared his throat and took another quick sip of his sugary coffee.

“What I mean is…that’s…very nice of you. To think like that, I mean. Not everyone is as…thoughtful as you.”

The man almost seemed to blush as he gave a quick shrug of his shoulders.

“Though I don’t know why anyone would _want_ to be around noisy brats _willingly_ ,” Robbie heard himself mutter into his coffee cup.

Oh no…he’d said that out loud, hadn’t he? The creature’s eyes shot up to look at Alex. If Robbie didn’t know any better, he was trying to sabotage his attempts at saving his own skin. Why in the realms would he say something like _that_ to a man he was trying to seduce?

Alex, to Robbie’s complete shock and relief, only laughed.

“It’s not for everyone, that’s for sure,” he agreed. “But I enjoy it, and the kids are great. It’s nice, really. You get to know you’re helping them be healthy, and you can watch them learn and grow, and children are just…nice to be around.” Robbie noticed that the man seemed to be making it a point to stare down at his drink. “Kids can be mean or difficult sometimes, sure, but…it’s not like it is with adults. Kids are…less likely to judge you for liking the same things that they do.”

_The same things that they do_? Just how naively innocent _was_ this Alex, anyway? Robbie could almost feel his mouth watering at the thought of it. Corrupting someone who was innocent enough to identify so much with children could give him an _incredible_ amount of energy once he stole it for himself.  An opportunity like this was virtually unheard of; he would have to thank Glanni at some point for affording him such an opportunity.

Robbie took another sip of his coffee and leaned in over the table. He gave Alex a sultry smile and opened his mouth to speak, set on enticing the man-child with comforting words of admiration and a not-so-subtle suggestion that they leave the little café for some slightly more intimate activities.

“So!” Alex chimed loudly, cutting off the creature’s train off thought with an abrupt halt, “Tell me about _you_ , Robbie! I don’t want to be the one who just talks about myself the entire conversation!”

The creature blinked as his companion gave a nervous laugh. Tell Alex about himself? What was he supposed to say to that? Was that a human come-on he wasn’t familiar with—an invitation for a closer, more intimate relationship? Or was it literally just asking for some sort of information without specific parameters? He had no idea what the cultural protocol was here.

Oh no, Alex was staring at him. The human looked like he was growing uncomfortable. Maybe Robbie had stayed silent for too long. What was he supposed to say if it _was_ just a request for general information about himself? He couldn’t exactly say that he was an incubus from a separate yet approximate dimension and had only come to town in order to steal the energy of a mortal or three so he could avoid wilting out of existence because he was the laziest son of a bitch of his species.

Something complex and outlandish, no matter how exciting or enticing it may be, wouldn’t do, not if he needed to stay here for a while and reap as much energy as he could. It had to be as close to the truth as possible, something he could remember and call back to. Something he could use to blend in.

“Uh…I…” Robbie stumbled as his disjointed thoughts clashed together in a spectacular explosion behind his eyes. “There’s not much to say, really. I, uh…I have a brother?”

Apparently, that was enough, because Alex’s face lit right back up.

“Me too! I’m a twin, actually—” Oh, holy hell there were two of them. “—but my brother’s a few minutes older.” The human laughed outright. “And he never lets me forget it, either! What about you, Robbie? Are you the oldest?”

“I’m younger, actually.”

Alex’s eyes shimmered, or was that just a trick of the fluorescent light? “Then I guess we both qualify as annoying little brothers, huh? We get on each other’s nerves sometimes, but I love Íþrótta. We’re a lot closer now than we were when we were kids. I guess it’s because we don’t feel like we have to compete for everything anymore. What’s your brother like, Robbie?”

Robbie huffed, automatically rolling his eyes at the thought of Glanni and his stupid face. “My brother’s an asshole,” he answered plainly.

Alex snorted. “I guess having siblings is pretty universal, huh?” he teased.

Robbie couldn’t help but give the man a miniscule smile at the sign of understanding. “Yeah…guess so.”

There followed a quiet between them in which Alex calmly sipped at his tea and Robbie stared blankly into his coffee, delicious as it was. The demon was confused. At least, he thought he was. Could one be confused about being confused? Was he just that bad at flirting and seduction—the _one_ thing his damn species was known and built for—that Alex seemed more interested in Robbie’s family life than outright sex with him? Robbie was an attractive creature; he knew that. Hell, he had banked on it all his life, lazy as he was. He hadn’t encountered this before and he wasn’t sure how to feel about such a mundane conversation.

Alex lightly cleared his throat. “So, how are you liking LazyTown so far, Robbie?” he asked.

Oh, wait, yes! Now was his chance—what a perfect Segway! Robbie leaned his elbows on the table and looked at his conversational partner with heavy-lidded eyes and an interested smile. “It’s been _wonderful_ since I met you, _Alex_ ,” he uttered with all the seductive charm he could muster.

The man’s cheeks seemed to turn a slight pink as he smiled from across the table. Yes, yes! Robbie knew that look. The human was melting already. Maybe he _wasn’t_ so terrible at flirting. Robbie leaned in ever so slightly. He tactfully moistened his lips, willing Alex to meet him halfway. Though wide-eyed, the human did lean toward the creature ever so slightly. Finally. All he needed was one little kiss, and the man was his for sure…in every sense of the word.

The soft bell at the café’s door jingled lightly in the background.

“ _Sportacus_!”

Robbie jumped at the sudden shout. He yelped, grabbing up his still-warm cup of coffee in the nick of time to save himself from a scalding burn on the one part of his anatomy he needed most for the seduction of his human to work. The creature spun around to glare daggers at whatever shrill-speaking beast dared interrupt their conversation.

“Trixie?” the athlete asked in surprise, looking up. “Stephanie? What are you two doing here?”

“We need your help!” the little girl in pink yelled.

Alex nearly jumped to his feet right then and there. “What’s wrong?”

Trixie pointed out the door. “The kitten is stuck again! We’re scared he might really fall this time!”

“Yeah,” the other girl added. “It’s getting windy!”

“Kitten?” Robbie asked, making a face. “All this fuss for—?”

Alex—Sportacus—had already jumped from his seat. “Sorry, Robbie. Someone’s in trouble. I’ll be right back, I promise!”

With that, the human took one last gulp of his drink and raced to the front door, following the kids back out into the streets. Robbie sat there blinking in silence for a few seconds.

“What just happened?”

Robbie grabbed his coffee cup and got up, realizing that if he was going to have any chance of getting Sportacus behind closed doors any time soon, he now had to chase after the blue idiot to get it.

He hurried after the man and his two tiny minion as they raced down the street toward the park. What a disaster. He’d had him. He’d _had_ him! If those stupid little brats and their damn cat hadn’t gotten in the way, Robbie could have had Alex bent over that table by now.

“I see her!”

Robbie, panting from the exertion of both hustling after the speedy humans _and_ making sure his coffee didn’t spill along the way, stopped and looked up at the sound of Alex’s voice. The human was standing at the base of a tree and looking up into the branches. A few of the children he had spied in his viewing globe the other day were scattered around him as well.

“Do you think you can reach him, Sportacus?” a boy with thick, orange-looking hair asked.

“I think so,” Alex replied before turning back to face all of the children. “Alright, everyone. Stay back and watch out for anything that falls. I’ll see if I can reach her.”

Alex looked up, spotting Robbie standing far from the group, and waved him over. Against all reasoning, Robbie found his feet moving. A gust of wind threatened to blow his coffee out of his hand, but only he noticed the dilemma. Everyone else was more concerned with the meowling kitten trapped on the branch above.

“This is my friend Robbie,” Alex informed the children, causing the creature to start paying attention again. “You all stay with him and listen to what he says.”

Robbie sputtered. “I…what!”

The children all nodded in understanding. The youngest of the bunch, a little blond boy, took hold of the demon’s pant leg with his sticky fingers to stay close. Robbie wrinkled his nose in disgust. Alex either didn’t notice or didn’t care, because he looked back up at Robbie with a thankful smile before he turned his attention back to the tree. Robbie, meanwhile, was left with a gaggle of unwanted human children blocking his every avenue of escape.

“Be careful, Sportacus!” the tiny blond boy called just as Alex jumped up and grabbed the lowest branch on the tree.

“Who?”

“Sportacus!” The child pointed a chubby finger at the man currently hauling himself up to pursue his next step in his climb.

“That’s not his name…”

“Not legally,” another boy, this one a bit taller with a snooty expression and wearing the most obnoxiously bright yellows Robbie had ever seen on another creature. “But that’s what _we_ call him!”

“Why?”

“Because he’s _our_ friend!” the yellow boy answered, as if that explained anything at all.

Another gust of wind caused the kitten overhead to cry out in fear as it dug its little claws into the bark. The children all gasped in alarm and worry. Robbie quietly watched Alex—or, Sportacus, apparently—climb up to another branch in spite of the wind. The incubus looked on in growing awe as he watched the man shimmy his way up the tree with ease, impressed with the human’s skill.

“What is he?” he asked aloud, hands on his hips. “Part _monkey_?”

“No!” the little blond boy cried. “It’s not part _monkey_! He’s…he’s part _super hero_! That’s what makes him _Sportacus_! He’s the best—Sportacus can do anything!”

Robbie raised an eyebrow. “A superhero? Those don’t exist!”

“Well, Sportacus is as close as you can get to being a superhero,” the dark-haired girl at his side interrupted. “So…they kind of exist, then. And Sportacus _is_ one.”

“Yeah,” the blond child agreed. “Sportacus is the best! I wanna be just like him when I grow up!”

“Then you should probably lay off the dessert a bit,” the dark-haired girl with far too many pigtails muttered.

“Trixie, that’s not nice!” the other girl, the pink one, scolded with a frown.

“What? It’s true!”

The orange-haired boy sighed and shook his head as the two girls squabbled. “Don’t listen to her, Ziggy. You can be just as cool as Sportacus.”

The child didn’t seem to trust his friend’s words, instead deciding to cling all the more tightly to Robbie’s leg. The demon tried to suppress a shudder. He didn’t know what to do with kids and he didn’t want them this close. So the blond boy was a bit on the fat side, so what? That was no reason to tease him. Besides, doing so apparently made the tyke grab onto _him_ of all people and Robbie was already fighting every deep-seated urge in his bones to keep from bolting away from their loud, annoying, endless parade of cuteness and stupidity. Robbie kept his mouth shut to avoid being pulled further into the children’s worthless drama, and instead occupied himself with looking back up at the tree.

_Sportacus_ had managed to reach the kitten while the children were all busy talking. He clutched the tiny animal close to his chest, shielding it from the wind with his hand as he carefully climbed back down sans one arm. He was slower in his movements this time, but the feat was still no less impressive. Robbie watched curiously as the human risked his own safety for that of a tiny fluff ball. It didn’t really make sense to him to see someone risk their well-being for another creature like that, but…apparently that was just a Sportacus thing, if the children’s words were anything to go by.

“Is he okay?” one of the short things cried as Alex’s feet met earth once again.

The herd rushed forward to see if the tiny fuzzy thing was alright while Robbie took a slow sip of his now-dwindling coffee. He eyed his cup, disappointed that all the wind seemed to have helped cool the drink so much just while standing there. That was the _real_ tragedy of the day, not some stupid cat.

“She’s just fine,” Alex said, kneeling down so all of the children could get a good look at the shaking ball of black and white fluff against his chest. “Just a little scared.”

“You saved him, Sportacus!” the blond grabby child cried.

“Yeah! According to my calculations, there was almost _no way_ for the kitten to get down safely by itself!”

The pig-tailed child shook her head. “I wish she’d stop climbing up every tree in town! You’d think whoever owned her would make her stop.”

Alex looked a little sad, then. “I don’t think anyone owns her, Trixie. That’s part of the problem.”

The pink girl looked horrified. “You mean it’s homeless?”

The man shrugged. “I’m afraid so.”

“ _That’s_ why he’s always wandering around!” the tallest of the group said aloud. The orange-haired boy looked to his friends. “One of us should take it home.”

“I want her! I want her!”

Alex kept the kitten out of reach, still tucked safely against his chest. “Now hang on,” he said. “I don’t think your mother would like you coming home with a surprise pet, Ziggy.”

The child deflated. “Oh yeah. I guess you’re right.”

The pink girl nodded in agreement. “A pet is a big responsibility. That’s what my Uncle Milford says, anyway.”

“I’m not allowed to have pets,” Trixie grumbled as she kicked some dirt.

“My dad’s allergic,” the tallest boy lamented.

The blindingly yellow child huffed. “Nanny said I’m not allowed to bring animals home anymore. Not after the deer…”

Robbie drank his coffee.

“What about you, Sportacus?” the kid in the pink dress asked. “Can _you_ give it a home?”

The man actually looked sad. “I wish I could, Stephanie,” he said, “But my lease won’t let me have any pets either. Otherwise, I would definitely take her.”

The yellow child’s shoulders fell. “Well _someone_ has to give her a home…but…but who?”

Slowly, Robbie grew aware of about a dozen eyes turning in his direction. He blinked, looking behind him to see what the brats might be looking at. Seeing nothing, he turned back around with a bewildered expression.

“What?” It took an extra second for him to realize what was going on. “ _No_!” He tossed his nearly-empty coffee cup aside as his hands flew up into a defensive stance. “Look somewhere else, no!”

“ _Please_ , Robbie?” the tiniest in the group begged. “The kitten needs a home!”

“Yeah,” the yellow boy whined, “ _We_ can’t take it home. _You_ have to!”

“Yeah, come on, Robbie!” pigtails demanded.

Alex got to his feet. “Now now, don’t crowd him,” he warned his batch of followers. “If Robbie says no, then the answer is no.”

The demon practically beamed in victory, sneering at the brats as they all turned away in dejection and looked to their hero for guidance. Alex, the corners of his mouth slightly downturned, rubbed a finger under the kitten’s chin as he tried to come up with a solution.

“Are you _sure_ you won’t take him, Robbie?” one of the brats asked.

“No,” he snapped, noticing the sad gleam in the man’s eye at his words. “I—I won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One guess how that scenario ends.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting. I keep forgetting the post-to-AO3 step of my long chain of nonsense.

“Just because we’re temporary roommates doesn’t mean I have to like you,” Robbie spat as he dropped the bowl of cat food at his feet.

The kitten ignored Robbie’s harsh tone and, chest rumbling with contentment, hunkered down to enjoy its meal. The demon let out an exasperated sigh and tossed the measuring cup back toward the lumpy bag of cat food resting on his newly acquired table that he had dragged from a curbside trash heap. The plastic cup bounced off the bag and clattered loudly to the floor below while the rickety old table wobbled from the light impact. The bag atop it folded over on itself, spilling some of the easily-scattered kibble bits. Whatever. He would clean it up later. Maybe.

The task finished, Robbie stomped back to his chair. With a large huff, he collapsed into its shaggy softness. His arms and legs splayed out in all directions while his wings found themselves stretched out and sandwiched between himself and the chair’s plush back. The tip of his tail twitched with agitation at his unforeseen predicament.

“I don’t want a _cat_!” he whined into the cavernous abyss of his lair. “I can’t do anything with a _stupid, mangy cat_!” He roared in frustration and curled up in his chair like a pouting child, legs suddenly pulled up and arms tight across his chest while he glared at the innocent furry creature enjoying its food just a few feet away. “I don’t like you,” he grumbled at it.

The kitten did not respond.

“Alright!” he conceded after sulking for a few good minutes. “This morning didn’t work out…at all.” The creature sat up in his chair. “But!—” At that, he hopped back to his feet and brushed his claws through his hair, mindful of his horns, and straightened his vest. “I can use this to my advantage.”

The kitten gave the creature the briefest of glances, and Robbie grabbed his opening.

“The blue buffoon loves you!” he said, gesturing toward the now former stray with outstretched hands before pulling them back to spread his long fingers over his chest. . “And _I_ , the generous and wonderful soul that I am, took you in! If _that_ doesn’t scream ‘Sexy!’ for such a goodie two-shoes like him, I don’t know what does. I can milk this. I can get him in bed and—” He stopped, a spark of an idea suddenly coming to him. “Or, I can do even _better_ than that!”

Robbie stopped, arms folding over his chest as he began to pace the length of his lair. He stepped over the unbothered kitten as he went back and forth. Robbie tapped his impressive chin with one claw as his mind reeled with potential. His tail all but wagged behind him as it held itself high in anticipation.

“One roll in the hay might not be enough, even if it’s from such a pure do-gooder like Alex,” the incubus reasoned aloud. “I could make him…desperate for me. Yes! Yes, I could impress him so much, become _such_ an object of desire, that he would do anything to please me—to _thank_ me for taking you in and…and everything else I can do to thoroughly impress the oaf!

“I was thinking too small with just one round! Sportahero will be able to give me all the energy I need and _then_ some on a regular basis! _Ha ha_! Yes—I’ll make him _worship_ me! He’ll come back for more again and again, and I can take and _take_ and I’ll never have to worry about running out of magic ever again!”

Robbie threw both his hands up in the air in triumph before spinning around and looking down at the kitten with a maniacal grin. The kitten didn’t notice, too busy licking its own paw after filling its small belly. It’s lack of interest in his plan did not deter the demon. Robbie chuckled over his own fiendish genius and gleefully shined his claws on his vest in personal celebration.

“ _Now_ ,” he mused to himself with a sneering grin, “I just have to think of what else I can do to—no, no! That’s _mine_! Get your own!” He swiped at the kitten as it tried to climb the arm of his beloved chair. “Keep your little needle feet off my baby!”

The kitten mewed loudly in protest, jumping again at the shag and digging its claws in to climb to the summit.

“No!”

Robbie plucked the tiny thing off of his only personal possession and dropped her unceremoniously on the floor by her still partially-filled dish of food. The kitten looked up at him in obvious annoyance, but the incubus wouldn’t budge. He put his claws on his hips, glaring down at the miniature beast as his tail whipped angrily behind him.

“That’s _my_ chair. Get your own, you lazy mooch.”

The kitten batted lightly at the demon’s pant leg, undeterred by neither Robbie’s hissing, nor his bared fangs. He jumped back from the little creature and growled. The kitten followed him on young, uncoordinated legs.

“Get away from me!” he warned, making a half-assed attempt to shuffle away from the animal that happily chased after him when he did so. “ _Gah_! Shoo! Get!”

The kitten romped after him with excited determination in its eyes. Robbie let out a yelp when the furry thing got a little too close, and dashed away as fast as he could without being accused of attempting a jog. The kitten managed to largely keep pace with the demon, chasing Robbie in circles around the orange fuzzy chair set in the middle of the cavernous room. The unintentional game didn’t stop until about the fifth lap around the piece of furniture, when Robbie suddenly screeched to a halt and the kitten faceplanted into the back of his ankle and bounced back on her rump. The demon clenched his fists, tail high.

“ _What_ am I _doing_?” he cried aloud before whipping around and looking down at the tiny animal that had since decided to tackle his shoe to continue their fun. “I’m running from a _juvenile furball_!”

The creature huffed angrily and stooped down, grabbing the kitten by the scruff of its neck and lifting it up to eye-level. He growled as it tried to bat at his nose.

“You,” he said slowly, as if that would help the useless thing understand what he was saying, “Aren’t allowed on my chair. At all. _Got it, fleabag?_ ”

The kitten wiggled ever so slightly.

“Good.” He walked over and dropped it back by its food bowl. “Now stay there.”

After reorienting itself, the kitten stood up and started to toddle back toward the demon’s chair.

“No! Damnit, I said _no chair_!” he scolded, grabbing the animal around the middle.

The kitten startled at the sudden squeeze, its claws coming out and digging into the first soft thing they could find, which happened to be the flesh of Robbie’s hand. He let out a shout and dropped the thing, which only succeeded in leaving the kitten momentarily dazed before it got back up and mewed at the tall demon, as if demanding an explanation. Robbie, meanwhile, was busy nursing the injuries to his hand, sucking on the pinprick wounds.

“I hate you,” he spat as he watched the vicious little fluff ball distract itself by batting around a loose piece of cat kibble it had discovered. “If I didn’t need Sportabrat’s damn bratwurst energy you’d be out on your—” Robbie shook his head while his eyes went wide. “What am I _doing_?” he cried to no one. “I should be out there plowing that human, not babysitting some stupid cat _Ugh!_ You’re distracting me! I’m _not_ dying because of you, you stupid vermin! _”_

The kitten didn’t seem to notice the demon’s outburst in the slightest. It was too busy kicking the kibble bit across the floor again. It pounced and sank its tiny teeth into its prey.

Now thoroughly disgusted with himself and his life choices to play entertainment for a damn kitten instead of seducing the local hunk, Robbie stomped off toward the ladder so he could get his life back on track. He glanced back at the animal one last time before ascending, pointing a clawed finger at it and narrowing his eyes.

“If I find so much as _one_ pinhole in that chair when I get back, I’m going to skin you alive and feed your pelt to the crows!”

With that, Robbie began to haul himself up the ladder. With his departure, the kitten gave a mighty yawn. She stretched out her toes and glanced over at the big, soft chair sitting nearby. She promptly toddled over, climbed up its side, and nestled herself into a comfortable ball in the corner for a nice nap.

Robbie, meanwhile, could only dream of such comfort. He wanted his chair. He didn’t want to be climbing up that terrible, giant metal silo-looking lid on his lair that was far too heavy, even for a stupid hunk of metal. He also didn’t want to be climbing down from it just so he could go hiking back to that stupid town.  But, he had a job to do. Robbie cast his usual glamor across any exposed portion of his body and kept going.

“There’s _got_ to be an easier way to get to and from town,” he grunted to himself as he trekked along the path. “This is ridiculous. Alex is going to be a decrepit old man by the time I track him down!”

“Hi, Robbie!”

The incubus yelped, stumbled sideways, and leaned against the nearest tree for support. A gentle hand on his arm helped to steady him.

“Are you okay?”

Robbie looked up into a pair of large, concerned blue eyes. Alex helped the creature regain his footing and, fingertips still lingering on Robbie’s arm, looked over the taller man’s face with worry.

“I’m sorry, Robbie. I don’t mean to keep scaring you.”

“It’s alright,” Robbie dismissed; though he felt quite the opposite, he wasn’t about to turn Alex away and ruin his chances with the man. His life depended on it. “N-no harm done.”

Alex offered him a bashful smile. “Well, I’m happy for that, at least. I’m glad I ran into you, though. I was looking for you.”

In spite of his relentless pursuit of the human since his arrival, Robbie found himself somehow surprised at the news. “Oh?”

The athlete nodded, sliding a bag off of his shoulder and unzipping the main pocket as he started speaking. Robbie peered at it curiously, unsure what might be hidden inside. He frowned when he saw the contents, his hopes for erotic toys immediately dashed. What was all that nonsense?

“Thanks again for taking the kitten home, Robbie,” Alex was saying. “It really means a lot. I know how much work a pet can be, and you’re probably still unpacking and everything after your move…it was very kind of you to offer your help.”

Robbie gave an involuntary huff. Oh yes, he _offered_ to take the mangy animal in, oh certainly! Offered. Not like those judgmental brats had given him much of a choice in the matter.

Alex kept talking. “I know the kids are super grateful. _Heh_ …so am I, really. You ran off so fast after we got that bag of cat food that I completely forgot about everything else! I was going to bring this over, but…then I realized I still don’t know where you live, so I hoped I would run into you and, well—” He laughed outright at that. “—I guess I did! So, I got you some extra bowls if you needed them, litter, a box, some toys, a cat bed, a collapsible carrier, some baby blankets, treats, and…Robbie? Are you okay?”

The demon blinked, admittedly a little overwhelmed by the laundry list of items Alex had been hauling around on his back for probably the past two or three hours. For the kitten. No…for Robbie.

“I just, uh…that’s a lot,” he admitted. “A-all that to take care of a stupid fuzzball?”

Alex laughed as he reorganized and zipped up the slightly bulging backpack. “Yeah, pets can be a bit of a handful, can’t they? Oh, and I wrote down all the information for the local veterinarian, too. I already called ahead and said that whenever you bring the kitten in, I would pay for it.”

“What?”

“It’s my way of saying thank you,” Alex quickly insisted.

Robbie nodded toward the bag. “What, and _that’s_ not enough?”

The man shrugged timidly and tried to hide a sheepish smile. “It’s just, I know it’s a big responsibility on top of a lot of stress, what with the move and your new job and all. I really would take her if I was allowed to have pets. I’m just glad she’s found a home.”

Robbie nodded, unsure what else to say in response to that. His plan seemed to be working; Alex was incredibly thankful that Robbie had taken the animal in, and had even been _looking_ for him around town because of it. The creature knew he should be jumping on that, getting Alex to the nearest alleyway so the human could thank him _properly_ , but he found himself just standing there instead. He swallowed as Alex’s bright smile returned. The human slung the bag back over his shoulder, his lips moving again. Oh—drat!

“Huh, what?”

“I asked where you lived, so we could bring all this—”

Shit! No, Alex couldn’t find his lair!

“ _Ahh_ actually, I was…hoping to spend some more time outside,” Robbie lied with a dazzling smile and a wink. “Take a nice walk now that it’s warming up and that wind isn’t so bad, you know…love that burning sun and—and—” Oh holy fuck the word felt obscene on his tongue. “—and _exercise_. I’d hoped maybe you could show me some _sights_ if I was lucky.” Robbie waggled his eyebrows at the man. “ _If you know what I mean_.”

Alex chuckled lightly at that. “Well, I don’t know if there’s much in the way of sightseeing around LazyTown, but…I can show you the rest of the park, if you’d like. I was going to head over there after I found you anyway to help clean up a bit of a mess. Would you like to join me?”

Cleaning up a mess? Robbie was already in the middle of one of those. Maybe if he helped Alex finish up his work faster, they could hop in bed somewhere and celebrate a job well done. Yes, that would be perfect. Alex all hot and sweaty from the sun and yard work…muscles gleaming and eyes following Robbie’s every move as he did his best to entice the human into unspeakable acts. Yes, it was the perfect opportunity.

“Of _course_ I’d like to join you,” Robbie purred, closing the distance between them and reaching out to run his fingertips down the length of the bag strap resting beside Alex’s hidden pecs. “It sounds…intimate.”

The shorter man shrugged. “I don’t know about that. The mayor said he might be able to come help if he got all his work done on time, but, to be honest, he tends to run pretty late. We’ll just have to see.”

Robbie blinked.

“Come on, I’ll show you where we’re headed! This way!”

Robbie found himself almost chasing after the human, stumbling along in a daze as Alex lead him through the sports section of the park and back into some of the walking trails behind it. Was Alex oblivious to Robbie’s come-ons, or was the human taking him to a secluded spot to rip his clothes off? He had said that the mayor was coming, maybe? In his weakened state, Robbie certainly wouldn’t turn down an orgy in the woods if that meant saving his magic hide. But then, would Robbie be able to get any energy from this mystery mayor? Would he _want_ to? The creature wasn’t sure exactly what was happening, or what Alex might have planned, but he got the feeling that he didn’t much like it, and that—once again—things weren’t going to turn out in his favor. Even so, he had to try. Anything was better than nothing.

“See?” Alex asked with a disappointed sigh as they emerged to an open area in the trail where some picnic tables and a miniature man-made pond waited.

The scene didn’t look too remarkable, really. Robbie shrugged.

“See what? The water? Looks fine.”

“No,” Alex said, gesturing toward the short wall that encompassed the entire area in a semi-circle. “That.”

It took Robbie a second to realize to what the man was referring. Following Alex’s gaze, the demon took a closer look at the half-wall and piqued an eyebrow. It was covered with what looked to be spray paint of various colors to spell out lewd words and accompanying images. Remembering what realm he was in, it took Robbie a moment to realize that they probably weren’t meant to be a part of the original structure. Probably.

“What about it?” he asked, quickly realizing that was probably the wrong question to ask by the astounded look on Alex’s face the second the words were out of his mouth. “I mean, uh…what can we _do_ about it?”

Alex’s widened eyes immediately relaxed. Yes, good call, Robbie. That one was the right answer.

“Well, I was…going to spend the day cleaning it off, truth be told.”

Robbie made a face. “The _entire day_?” he asked in disgust and dismay.

Alex simply nodded. “Someone has to clean it up. Normally I would ask the kids if they wanted to help, but…” He gave the vandalized wall an uncomfortable glance. “…I really don’t want them to have to see this. That’s why I need to get rid of it as soon as possible.”

Robbie didn’t completely follow the reasoning, but then again, his upbringing had no doubt been a little _different_ compared to those of the human children he had met earlier that day. Either way, though, there was an obvious problem hanging over Robbie’s head as he watched Alex gather up some buckets, sponges, and other cleaning equipment that were sitting on a nearby table. This was going to take the human _forever_ to finish his little cleanup project. That meant _Robbie_ would have to wait just as long to get what he needed…and the incubus was short on time as it was. There was an obvious solution to his problem, Robbie knew, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.

With a grimace, Robbie spoke up. “I…I can help.” He did his best to suppress the shudder that longed to run through his entire being at the sound of those words. “It…might make things go by faster.”

Alex had glanced over his shoulder when Robbie began speaking. His smile had brightened with every word, soon leaving the man with a gleaming halo around him that the demon couldn’t help but stare at.

“That would be…I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, Robbie. But…but it _would_ be nice to have some company while I work!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I can mix up some cleaning solution if you want to go home and change.”

“Change?”

Alex nodded toward him. “Your new clothes. I’d hate to have them get ruined.”

“Uh…oh.”

After some quick logistical chatter, Robbie found himself heading home with an insanely heavy backpack hanging from his aching shoulders. He dropped it onto his lair floor before grabbing the kitten napping in his chair and roughly tossing it aside, startling the poor creature. He grumbled to himself as he changed into his usual outfit—though he wished he could justify using his magic to undress instead of needing to do so manually—and looked down at himself again.

“So much for saving energy by not having to hide _everything_ ,” he grumbled to himself as he allowed his disguise to ripple across his natural form. “And I thought I told _you_ to quit that!” he snapped at the persistent furry pest that was already back in his chair. “ _Ugh_ , fine. Have it, it’s not like I can use it any time soon! But don’t get _used_ to it, you stupid fleabag!”

The kitten squinted comfortably at him. Robbie groaned and left, hiking back to the godforsaken town for the third time that day. If he didn’t fade into nothingness from lack of magic, all of this physical exertion nonsense would surely make him drop dead anyway.

“Welcome back!” Alex greeted when Robbie emerged from the trail.

The demon was about to come back with an annoyed reply about how the town was way too spread out for his liking when the sight of the human gave him pause. Alex was shirtless, sitting cross-legged in front of the wall with a sponge in his hands and suds dripping down the length of his toned, muscular arms. His tanned skin glistened where the water had touched him, and Robbie couldn’t help but… _notice_ all of it. The human gave him the friendliest smile as he approached, and gestured to a nearby bucket of soapy water when the creature did so.

“Grab a sponge and join in on the fun! Luckily, it’s coming off a little easier than I thought it would.”

“That’s…good,” Robbie heard his voice answer, though he didn’t know if his mouth was actually moving or not.

He meandered over to the human’s side and sat down. He took up the extra sponge floating in a sea of bubbles, but couldn’t help but watch Alex out of the corner of his eye as he did so. The human rubbed his own sponge up and down the graffiti, his beautiful muscles flexing with every movement as the suds and colors ran down the wall. Some of it dripped onto his pants and soaked through the fabric to better cling to the equally toned legs hiding underneath. The demon swallowed, suddenly thirsty for some reason.

“Thanks again for helping out, Robbie. I really appreciate it. I thought I would end up being alone out here until dinnertime!”

The creature managed to recover his senses just enough to be able to respond. “It’s…no problem at all. I’m happy to help. B-besides, it’s a w-wonderful excuse to spend more time with _you_.” He gave the man a wink and, reluctantly, started scrubbing at his section of the wall.

Alex laughed. “It’s nice to spend time with you, too, Robbie,” he agreed cheerfully. “I just wish it were under better circumstances.” The man sighed and shook his head as he rewetted his sponge. “LazyTown isn’t usually like this,” he said. “It’s a great little town. I fell in love once when I was just passing through and loved it so much that I decided to stay! Everyone is so nice and welcoming…it’s a small town, but it’s so _accepting_ and peaceful. But, lately things like this have been happening. No one seems to know who’s responsible. It’s…disheartening. We get a lot more outside traffic than we used to, sure, and it’s helped a lot of businesses, but it’s apparently brought things like this to LazyTown, too, and…and I wish there was something I could do about it.”

Robbie listened quietly, unsure what to say to all of that. He wrung out his sponge and dunked it in the water again, starling slightly when the water splashed up and hit his once-again exposed midriff. He hoped the wind wouldn’t return, or he would end up getting cold incredibly fast.

“Where I’m from, this kind of thing would be child’s play,” Robbie admitted as a strange feeling turned in his stomach. “It’s kind of nice being in a place all of a sudden where this kind of thing is a big deal.”

He could almost hear the smile in Alex’s voice as the human hummed in understanding beside him.

“I think you’ll like it here, Robbie. It’s quiet, but…there’s always something going on if you look for it.” He chuckled to himself. “Adventure’s just a moment away if you just let yourself find it, you know?”

“Er…yeah.” Robbie kept his eyes on the wall, not liking where the conversation had somehow gone.

“When do you start your new job?” Alex asked. “Are you free tomorrow afternoon…m-maybe sometime around noon or…after?”

Ah, yes, finally! A smile quickly returned to Robbie’s face as the creature fell back in line with his original plans. A date? Sportaperfect Alex was asking him on a date, wasn’t he? And that could only mean one thing!

“I won’t be starting for a little while. I could join you tomorrow no problem,” he replied, looking over and batting his eyes at the man.

“Great!”

They continued in their work for most of the afternoon. Robbie only remembered why he had gone out looking for Alex at all after he returned home.


End file.
